Regarding this entry on porn:

He said: "Going back to the formula - is it because your standard white male is so downtrodden in life nowadays that he feels he must get revenge on women?"

I think that's probably true in a significant minority. Not the majority that I can see, but in enough numbers overall. But one of the points that they make is that porn shouldn't be just about the men watching. There are women who watch, collect and enjoy, too. They themselves aren't dominated by anyone, either.

I say that while they make valid points, the fact is, they are in the minority of women. I have no idea what they get out of porn, or what porn they like. But most women do not want to be treated as the ones are in the porn, and I think it stands to reason that they wouldn't be interested in any portrayal.

He also said: "it seems to me that barring "normal" sex and cunnilingus that all the other things are basically male dominance rearing it's purple head."

I'm not sure how fucked this is. If I do doggie, I do it because I like it, but also because I have never met a woman who really doesn't like it at least sometimes (actually, at least once per session). Is this male dominance? It depends on how you look at it. I might feel pretty cool doing it, pulling hair and slapping asses (I am used to women liking it, but it still amazes me somehow. Only one has said that it wasn't anything they liked, and I didn't bother with another one), so that may be me asserting my dominance. But what if she's flipping me over to missionary from cowgirl? Or what if she's in doggie and telling me to pull her hair? Who's dominant now? I said, WHO'S DOMINANT NOW, BITCH?? And this is true for any position, I think.

She said: "I think men try to hold us back by portraying us as cold fish because if our sexuality were ever released in full force and every woman admitted that they enjoyed sex, the world would explode."

Well, every woman I have ever talked to about sex says that they enjoy sex. Not that many people (except the abused, maybe, I suppose) would say that they don't enjoy sex. The genderiffic difference? Women will say that they enjoy sex under certain conditions (Caveat 3, Subsection 2 [ii], whereas the parties sexually engaged with the parties of the First Part shall be emotionally and spiritually bound and effectively owned by the party of the First Part for as long as the party of the First Part deems appropriate). Men will say that they enjoy sex. Women have disclaimer after disclaimer. Men will say that they enjoy sex.

Why? I suppose that the world would explode otherwise.

But really? What is the advantage that men have by keeping women's sexuality in check? Apparently we do it here. I have no clue why. That's a good question.

Is it really the TV execs fault that women are portrayed this way and that men are portrayed that way? I tend to believe that as a society we get what we want, and I think that society does not want women to be sexually aggressive or enthusiastic. Society likes the notion that sex is something that women give and men either take, or trick women into giving. You know why men are rewarded for sleeping with women? Because the notion is that he probably had to spin a really good line. He was smart (read: respectfully sneaky). Good one.

I think execs would produce a show where men didn't beg for sex like dogs begging for food and women tried to get laid as much as possible. But do you remember when Ellen Degeneres came out as gay on her stupid show? Despite the big ratings numbers, there was some substantial fallout. People boycotted. Money was lost. People that wouldn't write their congressman to demand that they make the drinking water safe, wrote the networks and their affiliates and complained. It's not the men in charge of the networks, it's us.

He said: "Is this the magical formula to guarantee sexual happiness or is this just what white American males (the largest consumers of pr0n) want to see?"

If you listen to a lot of mainstream media, you would think that sex for het women of any age is bad (as in low quality) overall. If so many white males are getting their sexucation from formulaic porn, then I think this is why.

However, formulas are in far more than just porn. They're everywhere, especially TV and mainstream movies. Women are just as guilty of succumbing to this as anyone. This could contriubute to a lack of creativity that so many women (again, in the media, I have no idea if this is actually true) complain about. Well, they aren't so creative themselves. It has taken me years to find one woman that can give decent head.

Maybe one reason that so many men are drawn to porn, besides the obvious, is that they are expected to know everything about sex. I think that young guys put themselves under pressure sexually not only to be having sex, but to know what they are doing. We always assume the guy knows what he is doing, even when he has never done anything before. That could have to do with the older experienced man/younger virginal girl scenario that people idealize. Porn is an easy way to see how things can actually be done. It's not a good way, but it's the only way for some.

That's a lot of ramblings so late at night. And I am still nowhere near being tired. Tomorrow will be shitty for sure. Click here for earlier views on porn.