I just had my toughest interview ever. And I don't think I got this job. He is concerned about my lack of direct experience. I might get a tryout period contract type of thing, but that seems like a remote chance now. I NEED the opportunity to prove myself. I'll never get it if someone doesn't take a chance. And if it will be like this everywhere, and I suspect that it will be, then I won't find work in what I want. This may be as good a chance as I will ever get.

There may still be something for me elsewhere in the company but really, I can't see that happening, either. Could be despair setting in, could be reality. I guess I'll find out.