Tomorrow is my supposedly final scan that will determine if there is still cancer in my body, and a meeting with my surgeon Friday, so I assume that they will hurry up and get the results to me by then. I woke up today with a restrictive feeling in my throat. Experience tells me that eating would be painful right now, so I think that I will forget about that this morning.

I fully expect that I will receive news that I have a massive regrowth of the tumour, or at the very least, they will find trace amounts of what could be cancer, and so the best course of action would be to impose another scorched earth policy on my body. I feel that this is the best thing that awaits me. Which of course means more missed work, more depression causing more stress at home, etc.

I find a lame symbolism in today's rain.